Communication is one of the most important aspects of being an effective leader. As I have said many times, self-awareness is the number one skill we all need. To have successful conversations, start with awareness of how you show up in discussions – especially those that require candidness and can be challenging.
To start with, be clear about what you want to communicate. Then consider how this impacts the other person(s) and whether it is a shared goal. When a shared goal can be established, the ability to reach solutions that are win/win is more easily achieved.
Then, apply these 9 actions to the conversation:
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Listen, listen, listen with an intent to understand the other person’s perspective and experience.
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You don’t have to have all the answers. What you do need are good questions.
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Stay present. Let go of any mind wandering about things that will keep you from focusing on the person.
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Be curious. Let go of judgment.
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Avoid predicting what someone’s response and/or reaction will be.
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Be willing to sit in discomfort when conversations are challenging.
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Be willing to have a dialogue and not a debate.
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Approach all conversations aware of any biases so that you can put them aside.
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Approach all conversations from the heart.
Having thoughtful and effective conversations is what we aspire to have but don’t always achieve. Too often we want to get our point across with the hope that others will automatically agree. What can get lost in that methodology is honest communication, which inhibits relationship building.
